realization..

I am not a perfect mother, nor do I claim to be. I don't get to spend all the time I want to with Jaci, and sometimes I snap at her when I am frustrated at something completely different. I am a single mother. I have such a busy life that sometimes I don't stop and smell the roses that are right in front of me. I've come down with the disease called "perfection." I'm finally admitting- I am not perfect and I probably will never be.

I am tired of trying to be the perfect student striving for A's. Honestly at this point, I would rather get B's and C's and get to spend time with Jaci. She's such a sweet little girl, and it really does bother me that I don't even have the time to play with her every night. You know what bothers me more? Her life is passing right by me. The sad thing about all of this is it took watching the Justin Bieber 3D Experience for me to realize all of this.

I obviously do not have a lot of money, but there is one thing that I need to purchase for Jaci and me: A videocamera. WHAT???? You don't OWN one? No, I haven't bought a new one since she was a year old. I'm so excited to go out today and purchase one that I can hardly contain my excitement! The moment I buy it, I will do some test videos with Jaci and we will definitely post them for all of you to see! =0)

It's time to focus more on being a mom than a student. My employers aren't going to remember all the grades I got in my literature classes, nor will I. But I will remember the fact that I put my daughter and I's relationship on the back burner for "A's."